20 Ways To Annoy Draco Malfoy
by bookworrm1999
Summary: Hermione was at the coast and was introduced to the Harry Potter books. Eventually finding the fictional world of it including a video that gives her a genius idea. What is this idea? I guess you'll have to read to find out.
1. Prolouge

**Hey y'all long time no see! I've been busy getting settled into school and so on. Anyways I have come up with an idea for a story that i think will be really fun. I got my inspiration while watching videos on Youtube. I watched one called 20 ways to annoy Draco Malfoy. The more I thought about it I just got an idea to do a story based off it and of course you know that I am a Dramione fan. So this story will eventually be romantic but for now it's just funny interactions. Anyways I hope you guys like it!**

Hermione's POV:

I brushed my fingers over the rows of books, the smell of the see wafted in through the open door. I breathed in deeply smelling the clean, salty ocean air. My family and I had already been here at the Oregon coast on holiday for 6 days. We were going back to England tomorrow. Lincoln City was picturesque and peaceful. We'd come to the Tanger Outlets for our last day. I'd spotted the two bookstores right away, the Christian Bookstore hadn't had anything that I liked. So here I was, this bookstore was better to my liking. I moved on to the next row but something caught my attention from the corner of my eye, the words Harry Potter emblazoned over the front of a book. I took a double take and found myself standing in front of a display full of books on my best friend. My eyes darted over the titles Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, etc. ending with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. J.k Rowling was the author, how in the world had she found out? She's a muggle for merlin's sake! I quickly grabbed all 7 books and bought them. I read them all through the rest of the trip and the plane ride. I was in bed at night when I finished the last book. I sat in shock. I didn't kiss Ron when we were destroying the horcrux where had she gotten that idea? Sure I had a crush on him but that fizzled out after 6th year especially after living in such close proximity with him. I resigned myself to look this up on the computer in the morning.

Morning:

I jumped out of bed and quickly logged on to my computer. On Google I typed in the words Harry Potter. Millions of results came up fanfictions, images, music, books, movies, clubs etc. What really caught my eye was a Youtube link, "20 ways to annoy Draco Malfoy." I clicked on the link and watched the video as I did an evil plan formed in my mind. I quickly wrote down the ways to annoy Draco Malfoy as a list. It went like this:

1. Drop hints that Snape that Draco likes him

2. Announce to the entire school that he sleeps with a pink unicorn and sucks his thumb

3. Say "Hi Professor Moody" at random times during the day

4. Have Dobby send him a love note

5. Call him a mudblood

6. Have every muggleborn in the school follow him

7. Have the divination teacher predict that he is going to fall deeply and madly in love with Harry Potter

8. Ask him if he thinks Snape is sexy

9. Snog him thoroughly, slap him and act like he did it

10. Remove his pants in the Great Hall

11. While his pants are gone ask him why his boxers are red and gold

12. While he's sleeping draw a sar on his forehead

13. Ask him if Voldemort was his lover

14. Ask him to show you how he keeps his nose so ferret like

15. Pin a Malfoy Stinks on the back of his robe

16. Constantly call him ferret boy

17. Go up to him in the Great Hall and ask for your bra back, he can go and buy his own

18. Say blond hair on boys makes them look gay

19. Tell him he's hot, act love struck around him

20. Stalk him to the point of insanity

21. Lose all interest and leave him for Harry

I grinned evilly as I reviewed my list. I had of course revised it and added a few of my own. Now how was I going to pull it off. Then a pecking noise broke through my thoughts I looked up and saw an owl outside my window. He had a letter with the Hogwarts seal on it. I opened the window and opened the letter after receiving it from the small owl. I scanned through the contents and squealed I had made Head Girl, my hand closed around the silver badge. The same color as Draco's eyes, I shook my head sending the thought away quickly. I reached the bottom, Draco Malfoy was Head Boy. I smiled evilly well really I smirked, perfect. Now all I needed was some help, I quickly turned to the owl. " Don't go away just yet, please." I sat down at my desk and started a letter. " Dear Harry and Ron..."

**So how was it? Did I do good? Was I pleasing to you my masters? Anyways I really do hope you did like it. I won't post the next chapter untill I get at least 10 reviews maybe 8 it just depends on how much time I have. Before I forget I do not own anything about Harry Potter, Youtube, or 20 ways to annoy Draco Malfoy. **


	2. Way 1

**Hello my darlings! What's this? Could this actually be... a chapter? Yes it is, surprise! I'm so sorry guys, I was going through a hard time. Two of my uncles died and I was home alone for most of the day. I was really depressed. But I'm back now and really happy! Enjoy this!**

**Hermione's POV:**

On the train I saw the spires of Hogwarts rising in the distance. We were almost there. I turned from the window to look at the boys and their girlfriends.

"So do guys remember what I need you for?" They nodded

"I think so," Ron said "I still can't believe you would do something like this."

"Yeah," Harry added "I like it though."

"I still don't like some of the things you're going to do though."

"I'll be fine Ron."

"What ever you say, oh all knowing one." I slapped him over the head. He rubbed his head, glaring at me. Harry was laughing like a hyena. Pansy gave me an approving look. As the boys and their girlfriends talked, I thought of what had happened this morning.

Earlier That Morning:

I waited for the boys to meet me in front of the train. It was only three minutes until the train left the station. I huffed and adjusted the strap on my stuff. I thought over my first task. As I did I didn't notice the train pulling out. Coming out my reverie I noticed it. I sat there stunned for a few seconds then I snapped out of it. I ran for the small porch on the end of the train. I grabbed the bar and swung my luggage over. On getting myself over I caught my shoe in the bars. I struggled to get it out then the door opened. Draco Malfoy came out. My shoe came out just as he stepped out. I flew straight into him. Landing I straddled his pelvis, my hair created a curtain around us. Which had tamed quite a bit and hung in loose curls instead of a bush. My hands planted themselves on either side of his face. I think it took him a while to recognize me. I helped him out, being the kind person I am

"Hello Draco." I had decided to be nice to him in order to throw him off the scent of who was doing things to him. I readjusted my butt on his pelvis, his face twitched, I hid a smile.

"How are you? Thank you for cushioning my fall." I got up and readjusted my blue tank top and low jeans. Gesturing at my luggage I asked

"Would you help me with my luggage while I find Harry and Ron?" He got up as though he were in a trance, picked up my luggage, and held the door open for me. I barely hid my surprise as I walked through the door. We walked without saying a word to each other but I could feel the curious eyes on my back. I saw a red mop of hair through a window so I opened the compartment. Ginny and Harry sat on one side Ron and Pansy on the other. Ron and I had tried dating for a week during the summer. That fizzled out pretty quickly. He had reconnected with Pansy at a Chudley Cannons game. They started dating and she was a part of our group now. Malfoy placed my luggage on the rack, nodded to me, and left. Everyone in the coach was staring at me

"What?" I asked innocently. I grabbed a book out of the side pocket of my suitcase, it was one that I had bought in Oregon. I quickly buried my nose in it, but Pansy snatched it from underneath it.

"Oh no you don't, you are going to tell me how you did that." I shrugged, Ginny huffed

"That's not an answer." I sighed

"I was waiting for Ron and Harry, I missed the train so I had to run and jump onto the little platform."

"I got my foot stuck and I landed on Malfoy by accident." "He must have been stunned, that's probably why I was able to get him to carry my things." "Is that satisfactory?" They all shrugged and went back to talking and I went back to my book.

Current Time:

We slowed to a stop. I jumper up in anticipation. This year was going to be fun.

The Next Day:

I walked to Potions and I went over the plan in my mind. I wasn't really paying attention and I bumped into someone.

"Hey watch it!" I looked up into the face of my victim

"Sorry Malfoy, I didn't see you there." I smiled sweetly at him, just to freak him out, and walked to class. Glancing back I saw an astonished/creeped out look on his face. I smirked, victory was inevitable. I sat down at my seat, we had assigned seats this year. As head boy and girl Malfoy and I were required to sit together in all our classes. We also had to share a dormitory. I normally would have been horrified at this. For now it suited my plans. Malfoy came and sat beside me. He inched his chair away a bit. I smiled at him, knowing it looked sickly

"Something wrong Malfoy?" He inched his chair away more but otherwise said nothing. The lesson started and I really wasn't paying attention. I was looking for an opening to execute my plan. As Snape droned on, Malfoy stared out the window. He of course could get away with this, snotty little brat. I didn't really have the hate that I once had for him though. Reading those books was a real eye opener for me. I quickly drew a heart with Snape's full name in it, on Malfoy's notes. Snape had been checking our work and he reached our table. He glanced over my mine and grunted

"It's not horrid." Which meant it was great in Snape language. He looked at Malfoy's work and did a double take when he saw what was in the corner of the paper. "Mr. Malfoy!" Snape yelped "What is this?" Malfoy looked at the heart and backed up in his chair

"That's not mine!" Snape's nostrils flared, his eyes looked terrified, they were the most emotion I've ever seen in them.

"Well it's your paper, Detention!"

"But..."

"No buts, you'll be in the library."

"Not with you?"

"No!" Snape yelled and he swept back to his desk. Malfoy stared at his desk in shock.

"Go now Mr. Malfoy, here's your slip."

"Now?!"

"Yes now, now go!" Malfoy grabbed the slip and dashed from the room. Snape continued the lesson acting completely traumatized. I smirked, mission one completed.

**So was it worth the wait? Did you guys like it? Tell me please! I will try to update soon! Luv ya!**


	3. The Unicorn

**So it's been a while but hey I'm here: ) Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving!**

**Hermione's POV:**

3 weeks later

I laughed happily when I woke up. I was still overjoyed at how well it had worked out. Malfoy's detention had just ended yesterday. I had made the most of it, whenever I went to the library during his detention. I made him help me find books and help me with things. Of course I knew how to find the books perfectly but I loved to see him suffer. It had become a little stale after the first week so I actually talked to him. Apparently his favorite color was pink, weird considering him. I had to pester him about it for an hour before he finally blurted it out. It was worth it though. I got dressed and decided to carry out the second plan. Walking to the closet, I pulled out a enormous pink, fluffy unicorn plushie.

Sneaking in my butter socks, I tiptoed to his door. I had done my research and there were no wards to incriminate me. Creaking the door open I slunk to his huge bed. The decor was blue, so jealous! Lifting his arm, ignoring the impressive muscles, I placed the unicorn under it. He didn't stir, he looked so peaceful. Too bad it was going to be plastered all over school. Pulling out the camera I had grabbed on my way out. I snapped a photo of the scene and gently took the unicorn back.

Smiling as I closed the door, I went back to my room and hid the evidence. Pulling out the photo I doctored it to make it appear he was sucking his thumb. Smirking I examined my handiwork, well done Hermione! It looked pretty darn real.

At breakfast

I smiled to myself and sighed happily. The gossip expert who I had given the photo too was sure to have gotten it out. I saw this to be true when a pair of giggling third year girls walked by with a copy. I smirked, perfect. Then Malfoy came into the hall, looking completely coiffed and utterly different then from when he was asleep. Everyone turned to stare at him and the hall burst into excited whispers. Malfoy, bless his confused soul, looked around completely lost. He walked to his usual seat beside Zabini. He piled his plate and started eating, still glancing around the excited hall. Zabini tapped his shoulder and showed him what was most likely my masterpiece. What happened next was unexpected and amusing.

His face turned so red it rivaled even Ron's, which was impressive. I swear I could hear his heavy breathing from across the hall and his grinding teeth. As a dentist's daughter I winced at this. He stood up quickly, shoving the bench back and knocking off several people in the process. It was quite comical to see legs sticking up from the top of the table. He stomped to the front and held up the photo.

"This is not true!" "I don't know who did this but I will find you and I will kill you!" He grabbed his things and started walking out.

I suddenly got the most amazing idea. I magicked the unicorn into his bag then made him stumble a bit. His bag got caught on a corner ripping it open. Stuff scattered everywhere, including the planted unicorn. A boy held it up and yelled

"It's true!" Everyone busted up and I almost felt bad for Malfoy. His face turned an attractive shade of his favorite color and he ran out in shame. Feeling really bad now I went after him, discreetly.

Going up to the common room, I searched for him. He wasn't in his room nor the bathroom. Harry's Map! I ran up to the Gryffindor common room, I said the password out of breath. Rummaging through Harry's trunk I found it under pictures of Ginny in skimpy outfits. Gross! Saying the magic words, I found him, in midair? Puzzled I went near to where he was. It was a wall. Weird, but now what? I knocked on the wall, feeling stupid, and asked

"Hello? Draco?" I waited for a minute before I felt like an idiot. I started walking away, maybe I could catch him later. Then I heard someone say

"Granger?" I whipped around and found Draco's head sticking out of a wall.

I screamed in surprise and stumbled back, landing on my bum hard. He started laughing heartily, I got up, blushing hard. Wiping my bum off I said

"Glad you found it funny." He stopped laughing

"At least not everyone saw your embarrassment, that photo is not true!" "Someone planted things!"

He looked at me as if realizing I was still there.

"What do you want?" he snarled

"I wanted to see if you were okay."

Surprised, he appraised me, then he stepped through the wall fully. I sighed in relief, it was creepy speaking to just a head on a wall.

"Come up." I raised an eyebrow

"Go up where?" He sighed

"I thought you were smart Granger, go through the wall." Cautiously I stepped through the wall and onto a staircase. Going up, I found myself in a circular room overlooking Hogwarts. It was beautiful. He came up behind me and I turned around to face him.

"How did you find this place?"

"I have my ways." he smirked. I rolled my eyes and sat on the large window sill. He sat across from me.

"So are you okay?" he just looked out across the grounds. Thinking I wasn't going to get an answer from him, I did as well.

"I'm fine, more angry than anything." I sighed in relief, I'd feel bad if he was sad. Looking at his face, I almost felt bad for what I was going to do to him next. Almost.

**So what did you think? Follow, favorite, review?**


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